General Discussions: ASK John: Adoption

By dondoo on Sunday, November 16, 2008 - 05:19 pm: Edit Post

John and Nora, I am also very greatful of your web site, it has brought alot of joy and knowledge to me and my family. Also we, my wife and I enjoy the photos you post. It took us over 5 years to start having children and considered the adoption also, but we ended up with twin boys and a little girl before the doctor shut us off. My boss tryed the adoption for over ten years and never adopted, but all of a sudden something happened to the and now have two children. Moral of this story is never give up and God works. You have our prayers.

By jeepbob47 on Sunday, November 16, 2008 - 06:14 pm: Edit Post

Yes, we have many friends who either gave up trying or successfully adopted and then found out they were pregnant. I guess the pressure was off. Anyway, I called a woman I know who is Luthern.Her name is Lois.She did not adopt her son through LSS but made an announcement at her church group that she would like to adopt. Shortly there-after a woman from the group seeked her out and long story short knew of a girl that was expecting and was going to put the baby up for adoption. Lois adopted this boy. This boy is now fourteen. A very happy outcome. Lois told me that a friend of her's put "I'd Like To Adopt" announcements up at school's,churces and stores bulletin boards. She targeted "blue collar" areas where a teen maybe interested in the adoption route. This woman also had a successful adoption via that route.I can tell you that my wife and her two siblings are adopted. All three children were through a Jewish agency in Chicago.Good Luck, I have a fourteen year old son and an eleven year old girl. Alot of work....But so worth it.....Bob

By dew69 on Sunday, November 16, 2008 - 08:26 pm: Edit Post

John and Nora,
I would like to say how happy Iam to hear about the news! I was adopted when I was 6 weeks old.Iam now 42 years old.My parents told me of this at a young age that I was their adopted son.Never once did I feel that I was not their own and have always considered them my birth mom and dad.When I was in my mid teens,my parents gave me the option to explore the idea of finding my real birth parents.I chose not to, and still choose to this day not to.My parents are MY parents!I do not know Nora, and the couple of times I have met you, I know you two will make wonderful parents!!
Congratulations and good luck! We will all be praying for the Dee's!

By rjgoniea on Sunday, November 16, 2008 - 10:51 pm: Edit Post

Good luck with the adoption. I would suggest that as a backup you also look into the foster care system. Granted, most of the children there are older than what you desire, but babies do end up in the system as well. My wife and I had pretty much given up on parenthood when we got the call. Our daughter was a preemie and the mother, for reasons I won't go into here, was definitely going to have her rights terminated. We took her home directly from the hospital at seven weeks old and 4lbs 11oz!

John, I would imagine that your early mornings would be perfectly suited for a newborn, you'll only have to get up an hour or so earlier for the 3am feeding.:-) Boy those sleepless nights seem so long ago now and it's only been a little over a year. Don't worry, they do learn to sleep through the night...eventually.:-)

Not really sure how we are going to handle the whole 'you are adopted' conversation, but I hope we'll do ok.

No need to reply to this John, it seems like this thread is giving you answers, not the other way around.:-)

By frnash on Sunday, November 16, 2008 - 11:18 pm: Edit Post

The foster care system is not without risks: If you are so lucky as to find a wonderful foster child (vs. a "problem child") then just when you have bonded with the young 'un, you can lose 'em in a flash.

Foster care is nominally a temporary arrangement. It can certainly be rewarding, but there is always the risk, if not the expectation, of having the arrangement terminated, sometimes abruptly, through no fault of your own. That can be quite traumatic.


Responsibility for the young person is assumed by the relevant governmental authority and a placement with another family found. There can be voluntary placements by a parent of a child into foster care. Foster placements are monitored until the birth family can provide appropriate care or the rights of the birth parents are terminated and the child is adopted.

As also noted in the above article:


A third option, guardianship, is sometimes utilized in certain cases where a child cannot be reunified with their birth family and adoption is not right for them.

By snoweater44 on Tuesday, November 18, 2008 - 12:22 pm: Edit Post

John and Nora, I think adoption is a Great thing i never would had a sister if my parents hadn't adopted her one of the coolest things anyone couple could ever do! best of luck to you!!!

By peter on Thursday, November 20, 2008 - 07:40 pm: Edit Post

My mother was a foster parent and now I have 7 brothers and sisters, all of them were foster children from birth, my mother and father adopted all of them. I think adopting and or fostering a child is great.

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